The Sport of Motherhood

This article was originally published on May 13, 2012 on the old blog

The Sport of Motherhood!







The definition of a Mother in my mind is a selfless, patient, observant, willful woman whom loves children; not just the fruit of her womb, but all. I get my definition of Mother from my mom's example in life.
There are no classes to enroll in that prepares a woman for motherhood. There's no fancy degree awarded once this position has been granted. There are levels that can be achieved, but there is no Final Exam, EOC, or ECA.

Here's my version of motherhood:

• LEVEL 1 (Preparation): mental roller coaster. Begins with conception. Part 1 First Trimester - either begins in absolute bliss & gratitude or anger & frustration with the male involved in the act.

Part 2 Second Trimester - acceptance and love. Love being pregnant. Loves the baby. Accepted the "baby shape" her body took on.
Part 3 Third Trimester - ends in absolute bliss & gratitude or anger & frustration with the male involved in the act.

• LEVEL 2 (Trial Run, warm-up, Beta phase)

This level is inevitable. All new mom's know everything, yet know nothing. Receiving unsolicited advice not acceptable, yet asking questions is. During this test run, babies are accidentally scratched, bumped, diapered too loosely or tightly, baby poops on the last clean outfit & is destined to hang out in the buff cutely, formula is mixed wrong, the blanket is forgotten in Spring/Autumn/Winter, and the bottle runs out before mom makes it back home for more. (Not everyone breastfeeds.) During all events, mom looks around to determine if anyone saw her & is deeply embarrassed even though each oops is private & unnoticed! She learns from each mistake and grows.

• LEVEL 3 (Dentistry & Theater)

During this level, use of recently acquired cry decoding skills are tested. Mom may think she's failing. Baby needs mom - clingy yet squirms when held. Many new acts & scenes are created to satisfy baby. New voices, faces, dancing & twirling, musicals are performed. Accents are developed & mom begins to speak baby to adults unknowingly. Once the culprit is discovered (evidence of tooth or fever, unsolicited advice is given, or grandma steps in) mom is determined to help the teeth make an entrance! Many dental therapies are attempted (gels, ice, rags, toys, massage, pacifier, etc). After 1st & 3rd tooth arrive, mom's an expert!

• LEVEL 4 (Case Study/Analytics)

Testing commences on food studies. New cereals/foods are introduced. Gag reflexes are studied and results are documented and shared. During Pediatric check-up results are proudly delivered. Poop Analytics begin. More unsolicited advice is administered.

• LEVEL 5 (Olympic Training)

Several new sports are mastered.
A. One hand hip hoist - picking up baby from floor with one hand free
B. Hurdels - running & jumping from one side of the house to the other while jumping gates, toys, or sippy cups to reach baby just in time before certain disaster.
C. Diaper Dash - changing diaper quickly in public before anyone notices...or smells it.
D. Clean Sweep - leaping, running, crouching, and reaching quickly to tidy the house when unexpected company or guests arrive
E. Spelunking - skill of saving baby from heights (cabinets, refrigerator, tables, stairs, or banisters at incredible speeds
F. CrossCountry Running - Running at gravity defying speeds to catching baby across a yard, field, park, or grocery/retail store.
G. Geocaching - locating a sippy cup/pacifier when dropped or thrown into a field, thicket of brush, driveway, park landscape, or retail store dump bin of merchandise.

• LEVEL 6 (Literature and Audiology)

Reading to toddler. Teaching new words & phrases. Baby learns to mock & repeat...everything. Embarrassing and unsolicited phrases acquired from other children & family members. Baby repeats said phrases in public or church. Mom buffers impact, apologizes & corrects baby.

• LEVEL 7 (Electrical Engineering)

Learns how to revive electrical devices after food, slobber, water, or impact damage. Items include VCR, DVR, DVD player, MP3, IPOD, cell phone, remote controls, PDA, etc)

• LEVEL 8 (Gymnastic Floor Exercise)

Lego high stepping, lil green army men dodge, baby gate hopping, toy reach, baby swing, and toy ducking.

• LEVEL 9 (Acceptance, Accolades & Admission)

This level occurs multiple times: Daycare, Preschool, Kindergarten, Middle School, High School, Driving, Graduation of any form, College, Engagement, Marraige, Grandchild announcement.


To sum it all up, mothers are a special breed of people. Any woman can morph into this status, if she is selfless.

Happy Mother's Day Mommy! I love you :-) 
*Photography by KD Photography 

Silence

This article was originally published on May 9, 2012 on the old blog


Without a word, you spoke to me.

Without a gesture, I understood.


You tried so hard, yet I was blind.


Every breath carries an explanation.


Do you hear?                     Silence caresses your ears and delivers a gift.


Peace, Love, and Grace.

What do you want for Christmas?

You gave it to me.

What do you want for Valentine’s day?

I have enough already.

What do you want for your birthday?

I already have it.

What would you like for Mother’s day?

I’ve had it all along. You’re love will do just fine

Footprints in Life

Which way will we turn next in our Footprints in Life? What direction do we want to take? What's around the corner? Should we worry about things that we have no control over? Should we spend precious time trying to figure life out? Why do we spin our heels worrying about how our kids will turn out? Why do we become consumed with ideas or thoughts?

In the long run, it doesn't matter which way we are about to turn or what's around the corner. Our Footprints in Life are measured not by our own eyes.

There is no need to worry over things which we have no control.
If we spend precious time trying to figure life out, we miss the here and now.

We can't worry how our children will turn out. We must simply put our best effort in to leading by example, not just leading by words. Our examples will been seen in our Footprints in Life.

We must not allow ourselves to become obsessed by any one thought or idea. Lest we find ourselves stuck in an alternate reality, ever missing the present.

Be still. See with new eyes.
Quiet. Hear with new ears.
Observe.
Take in every moment that God the Father gives us and cherish the amazing favor he has granted us each day.

We have no promise of tomorrow.
We have no bargaining power over life.
When a door closes, a window opens.
The cup is half full, not half empty.
We are resilient creatures, fully capable of healing, regenerating, and restoring  mentally and physically. 

To read the rest of this article, click here.

Stuff Dad Said

Originally posted at ChrissyAdventures on WordPress

Father's Day is right around the corner literally and I actual went to visit my Dad yesterday. We live very close to each other, but I guess I just am busy with my life and he with his, so we don't get to visit with each other much. Anyway, while on this trip to see Mom and Dad, I started thinking about things he use to say to my brother and I when we were young.
He has a great sense of humor and loves to laugh, although he isn't the best at joke telling himself. He has a very outgoing personality and at times my mother has hidden from everyone in embarrassment at his very open and comfortable presence. (Check out this video to see how impulsively fun he is in public.) I love that about him though!!
Dad never was one much for profanity. He is a baby boomer born in 1945. He had a few different careers early in life even though he only had a 4th grade education, was drafted to Vietnam, married my mother when he returned home, became an entrepreneur, was and still is a talented musician, writer, vocal artist, and adopted my brother and I in the 70's. In 1991 he dove into pastoring the church and has served the ministry since full-time. Rarely did a curse word ever leave his lips, but he did incorporate some slang into his vocabulary from time to time. He would also throw in a few words he thought were "hip" or "cool" from time to time.
Dad, although I know you are not on the internet and will probably never be - here is a tribute to you and the nutty stuff you use to say (and still do).
Got cotton in your ears? That wind'll fool ya!
There's a fine line between faith and foolishness sister...and we're on the line here!
Know what I'm say'n? Do ya dig me?

Sis, stop that! You're a girl!

Trust me, it'll taste good...
Fetch your brother for me.
This here's a little trick I learnt in 'Nam.
Flip!!!!!! (This word would follow his hammer hitting his thumb.)
Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doin'.
I get the gist of it.
Would you like for me to help you clean your plate? (said with a big hopeful grin)
Now, put this in your spirit... (Insert Advice Here)
Chris, do you ever get tired of talking?
Are you gonna eat that?

Truth in the house! (Always said in church instead of Amen.)

Come to church sometime (said to everyone he ever ran into...ever)
I'm pick'n... (this was followed by an awkward pause until you say "And I'm a grin'n")
Always keep your foot on the rock and your mind made up.  (This was code for I hid some money for you under a rock that your mom doesn't know about.)
Got everything covered? (Code for do you need any money.)
Now get this, ...(Insert random comment)
Are you reading me?
If you ever hit your sister, you'll have to deal with me.
Jesus never asked someone to take a shower or put on deodorant before he saved 'em.
Your mom said go to bed on time, so could you be quiet enough that she thinks you're asleep?
I did it, it was me. (Proudly proclaimed every time mom found something us kids broke, to save us from the wrath of mom.)

You gotta love people where they're at.

Maybe my dad was 1 in a million? I think so and I thank God for sending me and my  brother to him. I know his life changed after we entered the picture and I appreciate the sacrifices he and mom made for us.
Happy Father's Day Daddy. I love you!!

Mom & Dad - Before Kids

Plea to Inventors

I am a woman with PERFECT aim!! I know there have to be other women out there that feel this way too!
I begging someone to invent a pee splash shield for bathroom cabinets.
Let's face it, the sink cabinet in most homes is located less than a foot from the toilet (and even closer in some homes).
This may be shocking news...but boys can't hit the hole! And, it just gets worse when they turn into t

he creatures we call teenagers!! Someone, somewhere - PLEASE invent an affordable cabinet protector. (Wouldn't it be cool if it was a film like the ones that protect our phones and tablets? It could be even be reflective to help these men/boys see how BAD their aim is!)

uhm, I'm done now. Have a happy day everyone :-)