Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hope. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Brother's Love - PTSD Check-In

This article was originally published on June 2, 2012 on my old blog

A brother's love is a strong, sensitive, and unfailing.

While we were on vacation earlier this week, I saw so much evidence of my boys' healing.  I noticed some changes in their interactions with one another over the last few weeks as we took in a new family addition. It is nice to see them bonding once more instead of being arch enemies with each other :-)
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On vacation, we went to a small non-commercialized island where we had the beach practically to ourselves. This of course meant we also had the ocean to ourselves for the most part as well. Before the trip, both boys had concerns about safety. Neither could swim and were worried that I may not be able to save them.  They worried about the heat, the sand, the frogs,...practically everything. I think they were afraid of a new experience, but knew I was not going to leave them home - they were going to see the ocean, like it or not!
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On day 1 we drove all day and each of us crashed on our prospective beds at the hotel late at night.
On day 2 we drove the short distance to the beach and they faced their fears. Nick coaxed them out into the water as he laid down a few ocean rules. He showed them how to get past the breaks, not to worry about the sand, what brushed against their feet, and showed them the tranquility of body surfing the gentle waves. I was truly amazed. They did it - with no reservations. They went straight into the water, conquered that fear. Later that day, I watched my oldest son write in the sand to his daddy. I guess he was showing dad that he hadn't forgotten him. Then, he wrote to his girlfriend (his name and hers in a heart) multiple times! It was sweet. I had a few minor concerns about their PTSD flaring up on this trip and wondered if they would reach out to my deceased husband. My concerns were confirmed, but not anything to worry about yet. image
On day 3 they experienced the beach again, this time with stronger waves. We drove about an hour and 45 minutes to Ocean City Maryland. We went to the beach and the boys were awarded the opportunity to witness commercialization. They experienced mass traffic, city culture, saw what they thought were hot bodies (very little bathing suits and a lot of skin), odd people, live musicians, men and women flirting among the masses, and much more turbulent waters of the ocean.  We spent about three hours on the beach and in the ocean before we toured the boardwalk. The waves were crashing into the beach, the wind was stronger and people were elbow to elbow. The boys approached the water apprehensively. Nick went with them, but warned them about the undertow currents and told them how to make it back to shore if sucked out to sea. image
I could see the fear written on their faces and I knew that I would run out there and save them if I could. They feared losing each other as much as they had feared losing their daddy. They feared losing me and were relieved that I stayed on the shore line this day. I stayed with the towels and our belongings. The honesty factor flew out the window when we left our favorite island on Chincoteague. This was wild, crazy, and chaotic.
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I didn't interfere as they bonded together, encouraged each other "they could do it" and reassured each other that they'd be okay. I can't express how hard it was as a mother to watch and not jump in there and erase all of their fears.
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They went into the ocean. Holding hands. Forming a chain of protection as they had vowed to save each other if the need arose. They stayed close to Nick in the water for comfort. Before long, my oldest was waaaaay out in the ocean on his boogie board. He was a natural. He took to the waves like a dolphin. My youngest was not far out though as he stood aside and watched his big brother adventure out into the deep. image
They had learned to swim and hadn't realized it!! They had conquered a fear and were not aware. They were out there swimming with fish, crabs, jelly fish, sting rays, sand sharks, and lord only knows what else :-) image
From the side lines, I watched. From the side lines I was proud of them and couldn't tell them. They've told me that they are fine if I just help them and not actually say "PTSD" or "Are you okay". My Momdar (mom radar) is supposed to go off at just the right time in their minds to save them from their own thoughts. image
On day 4  we were back on Chincoteague Island and we went to the beach at Assateague Island. They were beginning to wear thin, tire down - like a tire going flat.  The hot sun, wind, and ocean water was beginning to take a toll of them. Irritable and grumpy, we promised them a break on day 5.  I saw more sand writing on day 4 to their daddy and they brought him up a time or two in conversation. No one cried, no one withdrew. They were healing nicely.
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On day 5  Nick rented a bike for my youngest son and Josh to ride around town. My youngest conquered another fear. He learned how to ride a bike! He rode that bike all over the town while Nick and I went to the beach. He conquered a fear of independence and being alone also. He was rather happy with himself that he rode as long and as far as he did on the Island. By car, the entire island can be crossed in less than 10 mins if you obey the speed limit of 25mph. It was very small. My oldest also conquered a fear of being alone in a new place. He didn't tell me he was afraid with words, I read it on his face. He talked to his girlfriend all day (I'm guessing) as he walked around the island.  Both boys are still healing and growing on day 5 :-)
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On day 6 the boys didn't want to go to the beach, they wanted bikes again. Nick rented bikes for them and they rode all day through the town. It was day 2 of a new-found freedom and they loved it! On this day all three boys had an argument blow out and they resolved it mostly on their own. Nick and I only had to intervene slightly. They were growing, bonding, learning each other and developing a new brotherly love (whether they realized it or not).
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On day 7 we went back to the beach one last time for shell collecting. They had all formed a new bond and were unaware of it. Each of them I saw talk to each other, interact with each other, and show concern in a new way.
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This vacation was a healing experience for them. Therapy could not have provided what this trip did.

Praise you Jesus for your Love, Grace, Peace, and Healing!!  :-)

Virginia's Only Island Resort

This article was originally published on May 30, 2012 on my old blog

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Our first family vacation was taken on Virginia's only Island Resort. It's a beautiful township where the citizens take pride in their community. This island is small, yet has something to offer everyone (especially adventures). I will break up the resort descriptions into a couple (or more) post, because let's face it...no one likes to read an article a mile long :-)

The name of my two favorite Islands are Chincoteague and Assateague Island. A connector bridge takes would be sun-seekers from one Island to the other
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On the way to this serene escape, we traveled across Virginia. We entered and exited some of the other popular beach get-a ways: Norfolk, Chesapeake, Richmond, Virginia Beach, Hampton, etc. 

We traded them all for another hour or more of driving to come to Chincoteague Island...and it was so worth it!
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The Sport of Motherhood

This article was originally published on May 13, 2012 on the old blog

The Sport of Motherhood!






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The definition of a Mother in my mind is a selfless, patient, observant, willful woman whom loves children; not just the fruit of her womb, but all. I get my definition of Mother from my mom's example in life.
There are no classes to enroll in that prepares a woman for motherhood. There's no fancy degree awarded once this position has been granted. There are levels that can be achieved, but there is no Final Exam, EOC, or ECA.

Here's my version of motherhood:
  • LEVEL 1 (Preparation): mental roller coaster. Begins with conception. Part 1 First Trimester - either begins in absolute bliss & gratitude or anger & frustration with the male involved in the act.
Part 2 Second Trimester - acceptance and love. Love being pregnant. Loves the baby. Accepted the "baby shape" her body took on.
Part 3 Third Trimester - ends in absolute bliss & gratitude or anger & frustration with the male involved in the act.

  • LEVEL 2 (Trial Run, warm-up, Beta phase)
This level is inevitable. All new mom's know everything, yet know nothing. Receiving unsolicited advice not acceptable, yet asking questions is. During this test run, babies are accidentally scratched, bumped, diapered too loosely or tightly, baby poops on the last clean outfit & is destined to hang out in the buff cutely, formula is mixed wrong, the blanket is forgotten in Spring/Autumn/Winter, and the bottle runs out before mom makes it back home for more. (Not everyone breastfeeds.) During all events, mom looks around to determine if anyone saw her & is deeply embarrassed even though each oops is private & unnoticed! She learns from each mistake and grows.

  • LEVEL 3 (Dentistry & Theater)
During this level, use of recently acquired cry decoding skills are tested. Mom may think she's failing. Baby needs mom - clingy yet squirms when held. Many new acts & scenes are created to satisfy baby. New voices, faces, dancing & twirling, musicals are performed. Accents are developed & mom begins to speak baby to adults unknowingly. Once the culprit is discovered (evidence of tooth or fever, unsolicited advice is given, or grandma steps in) mom is determined to help the teeth make an entrance! Many dental therapies are attempted (gels, ice, rags, toys, massage, pacifier, etc). After 1st & 3rd tooth arrive, mom's an expert!

  • LEVEL 4 (Case Study/Analytics)
Testing commences on food studies. New cereals/foods are introduced. Gag reflexes are studied and results are documented and shared. During Pediatric check-up results are proudly delivered. Poop Analytics begin. More unsolicited advice is administered.

  • LEVEL 5 (Olympic Training)
Several new sports are mastered.
A. One hand hip hoist - picking up baby from floor with one hand free
B. Hurdels - running & jumping from one side of the house to the other while jumping gates, toys, or sippy cups to reach baby just in time before certain disaster.
C. Diaper Dash - changing diaper quickly in public before anyone notices...or smells it.
D. Clean Sweep - leaping, running, crouching, and reaching quickly to tidy the house when unexpected company or guests arrive
E. Spelunking - skill of saving baby from heights (cabinets, refrigerator, tables, stairs, or banisters at incredible speeds
F. CrossCountry Running - Running at gravity defying speeds to catching baby across a yard, field, park, or grocery/retail store.
G. Geocaching - locating a sippy cup/pacifier when dropped or thrown into a field, thicket of brush, driveway, park landscape, or retail store dump bin of merchandise.

  • LEVEL 6 (Literature and Audiology)
Reading to toddler. Teaching new words & phrases. Baby learns to mock & repeat...everything. Embarrassing and unsolicited phrases acquired from other children & family members. Baby repeats said phrases in public or church. Mom buffers impact, apologizes & corrects baby.

  • LEVEL 7 (Electrical Engineering)
Learns how to revive electrical devices after food, slobber, water, or impact damage. Items include VCR, DVR, DVD player, MP3, IPOD, cell phone, remote controls, PDA, etc)

  • LEVEL 8 (Gymnastic Floor Exercise)
Lego high stepping, lil green army men dodge, baby gate hopping, toy reach, baby swing, and toy ducking.

  • LEVEL 9 (Acceptance, Accolades & Admission)
This level occurs multiple times: Daycare, Preschool, Kindergarten, Middle School, High School, Driving, Graduation of any form, College, Engagement, Marraige, Grandchild announcement.


To sum it all up, mothers are a special breed of people. Any woman can morph into this status, if she is selfless.

Happy Mother's Day Mommy! I love you :-) 
*Photography by KD Photography 

Silence

This article was originally published on May 9, 2012 on the old blog


Without a word, you spoke to me.
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Without a gesture, I understood.


You tried so hard, yet I was blind.


Every breath carries an explanation.


Do you hear?                     Silence caresses your ears and delivers a gift.


Peace, Love, and Grace.
What do you want for Christmas?
You gave it to me.
What do you want for Valentine’s day?
I have enough already.
What do you want for your birthday?
I already have it.
What would you like for Mother’s day?
I’ve had it all along. You’re love will do just fine :-)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Who Left Me By Myself?

Who Left Me By Myself
This article was originally published on April 25, 2012 on the 

Kids up - check
Coffee made - check
Commute - check
Kid 1 dropped off at school - check
Commute - check
Kid 2 dropped off at school - check
Commute to mountains - check

             Wait...huh?

How did I get on this Mountainside? The mountains call my name.  I've always had an "escape" from the kids dramatic lives, bosses that pride themselves on X# years with a company as they throw "underlining" under a bus, family, friends, neighbors... everyone!!

I had always found solitude in the Appalachian mountains, until we began staying on the other end of Knoxville. Now, I'm pulled toward the Smoky Mountains :-)

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Welcome to my new hide-away :-)

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Why are You Stuck in my Head?

Why are You Stuck in my Head?
This article was originally published on April 18, 2012 on the old blog

Why are you... stuck in my head?
                  ?????
Have you ever had a song stuck in your head that your mind sang all day?

Your lips involuntarily move as your brain tries to rip the lyrics from your vocal cords?

Without conscientiously doing it, a gentle low humming comes from your throat & then you realize...it's that song!

There's a fancy medical term for this condition that our brain taunts  us with. It's called obsessive neurosis!
And I'll be dog-goned if you're not stuck in my head!

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Another Evil of PTSD

Another Evil of PTSD
This article was originally published April 3, 2012 on the old blog

Another evil of PTSD is depression. It's not always present and can be controlled for some by medication.
I hate depression. It rips life from a person and steals tears from its miss-perceived victims. Depression can take a beautiful day and make it cloudy, gloomy, and undesirable. It has much company when it takes root in one's soul; for it invites anger, sadness, and self loathing with it. These rascally fiends take over and throw a misery party showcasing every wrong move, thought, word spoken, or deed done in the past. Their heart wrenching film plays over and over until the unassuming audience has become completely trapped by its clutches.
Depression is a beastly evil of PTSD.
Depression is one of the most commonly occurring disorders in PTSD. In fact, it has been found that among people who have or have had a diagnosis of PTSD, approximately 48% also had current or past depression. People who have had PTSD at some point in their life are almost 7 times as likely as people without PTSD to also have depression. Another study found that 44.5% of people with PTSD one month after experiencing a traumatic event also had a diagnosis of depression.
For more information on how PTSD and depression could be linked click here.
For another view on depression click here.Click Me, Click Me!
So, the question is, how does someone with depression associated with PTSD cope? PRAYER! A lot of Prayer!!
On this roller coaster ride we call life, there are always rainbows after every storm. We have to choose to see the rainbow instead of the destruction that the storm left in its wake. It's also a lot easier to write about it than to put it into practice, by the way ;-)

I need a game plan. I need to figure out why I stop wanting to take part in life. The Lord and I are the only two that can work together on this giant feat and obtain any lasting success. Medication will only place a bandage over the wound that depression leaves. The longer I let it wound me, the deeper and larger that wound will be. I can't let that wound turn into a scar or I will have given up and become lost in the misery party that depression wants to host.

Here I go! Wish me luck!! :-)
 I'm ready to tackle the evil beastly depression monster brought along with the sinister PTSD!!

Neighboring Conversations

Neighboring Conversations
This article was originally published on March 28, 2012 on the old blog

Yesterday while working in the Oasis I was approached by 2 neighbors, but at separate times. I had been mowing the lawn for about 90 minutes and needed a little break. (I refuse to use a riding mower, it's only an acre.) One of my very sweet neighbors yelled a friendly "Hey" and walked to the end of his fence.
Say, what in the world are you doin' to your house, if ya don't think me nosey?
Smiling, I said "Repairs."
Well, my wife wanted to know. She done told me that you'd been swindled time or two on your roof & I oughta ask ya. Now she'ain't nosey or nothing like at. But she says to me yesterdee that she's mighty concerned and all, 'cause they's been guys over here work'n and she done said you's out here work'n like a man.

(He let out a small chuckle.) My wife, she said you's over here lifting really heavy stuff, dragging big 'ole boards around, grunting & sweating and that you ain't afraid O' work.
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After my head stopped spinning, I answered, "Yes sir. I want my home completed so I do what I can to help when I can. But,..."
Quickly, he interrupted,
Yep, that's what my wife told me and she's not nosey or anything. Not to get in your business, but why are you doing all this?
"Well sir", I answered, "this is my home & I couldn't just walk away from it. I..."
A burst of laughter shocked me & I didn't finish my thought.
Well, I just pittle round here and there some and keep myself busy during da day, so I ain't seen you a work'n like she says. But I figured something must be going on since she done said all that and all. You know. Well, I guess I'll letcha get back ta what choo'sa doing.
And with that he waved a howdy-do and off he went.
I started the mower up and mowed another 15 minutes or so. From the corner of my eye I noticed a figure approaching me. I saw another neighbor coming toward me. From the distance I heard,
Hey! Are you mowing?
He was much closer now, so I didn't have to yell to answer him. I looked down at my green grass stained hands, legs, and clothes. I was covered in grass and drenched in sweat.
A thought occurred to me: Never assume the obvious is obvious to everyone.
Obviously Mowing
Obviously Mowing
I answered, "Yes. I kind of am mowing. What could I help you with?"
He was standing beside me now, looking down at his shoes, hands in his pockets, and appeared confused.
Okay, I was just checking.
He walked away, back to his yard.
I love my Oasis & my neighbors :-)


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Yesterday's Adventure - Beware

Yesterday's Adventure - Beware

(This article was originally published on March 2, 2012 on the old blog )


Yesterday,  I was reminded of an OSHA saying:
Is better to lose one minute in life… than to lose life in a minute.
I can be pretty naive at times I suppose. Part of that can be attributed to my belief that there is good in every person somewhere. But, where good is, evil is also present.

I found a couple of parks that I had never been to before and decided on a destination for the day. The park I chose was highly recommended by hikers on several websites. Mountain bikers gave high marks and praised the upkeep, cleanliness, and safety. Fishermen posted on wildlife sites about the beauty & bounty of fish at the park online as well. The park was listed on several family recreation recommendation sites also. I just had to go see this hidden local gem :-)

I have been all over my town, city, county and several others by myself exploring. I never gave the safety of this particular park a second thought, especially after so many high regards listed on public sites by so many people!

Following GPS, I located the park. I parked & noticed how many cars were present. There were many. I left my car, locked it & went to a beautiful fishing dock :-) The water was low, but it was lovely :-) The surrounding trees, shrubs, and spring flowers were beginning to emerge. Life around the dock was thriving. It was absolutely beautiful!


As I walked along the first & only part of a trail I got to see, I soon realized I was surrounded by 5 men. They were coming toward me from all angles. They spoke one at a time to perhaps make me nervous. Nervous people do stupid things. I heard several of them all at once in my mind though as I quickly evaluated my predicament.
Hey Baby.
Take some good pictures?
Whatcha got there?
One whistled a cat call.
Where are you going sweet thang?
Come here, we just want to talk.
One unbuttoned his pants. I had a knife clipped to my blue jeans (as I usually do) but it was dull :-(  (I can't find my good knife that has made so many hikes with me.) I hadn't planned on taking a long hike so I didn't bring my regular gear with me.

I quickly evaluated my surroundings:
  • I was surrounded by 5 angles.
  • Wooded area.
  • No large rocks, branches, random wrought iron, wire on the ground, or strong vines to use for defense. There was nothing to use as an element of surprise.
  • No one else around. I realized how stupid I had been.
I have 12 phone numbers listed on speed dial. After the 5th one, I reached a friend. I began the most random conversation I have ever had (and that's saying a lot for me).
OH Hey Sweetie!! You are? I just found the coolest park. Yeah, it's off XXX highway. Really? you're coming this way anyway? Great!! I can't wait to see you sweetie!! You're just 2-3 minutes away, really? Oh man, I would LOVE to show it to you! I love you!
Please bear in mind that my friend could not hear me well. Signal was not strong and he could only understand a few words that I was saying. Thank God he didn't hang up on me!!
Fishing? YES, there's a dock here and we can fish sometime. Oh, did I tell you that I heard back from the doctor? I HAVE CRABS. So, you'll be here in a few seconds? Great!!
While on the line with him, I had twisted off the trail, into the thicket and toward the lake. Two men didn't follow. One man behind me from another direction proclaimed,
She crazy! She going into that snake water. Forget that man.
With only two men left following me, I swiftly waded through the water with the phone plastered to my face. I'd rather take a snake bite than face what they may have done to me! I dared not to repeat myself and give away  the fact that my reception was not the best. I kept saying to my friend at different times in different ways,
Stay with me. Stay with me.
When I reached my escape trail, I glanced behind me. I had lost the other two men back on the other side of the lake. Their fear of the snakes was enough to deter them. I got in my car and sped out of there! I took a valuable lesson with me: Is better to lose one minute in life… than to lose life in a minute. 

Thank you OSHA :-)

Peaks and Valleys - part 2

This article was originally published on February 18, 2012 on the old blog


Week Eight of home repairs ends in many huge Thanks. The Lord has blessed us once more with progress and much needed hardware :)

Last week & this week I spent much time at the swamp tearing out more walls and dividing salvageable items from ruined. Being able to borrow my dad's truck to haul off demolition material & trashed possessions was a huge blessing. The gratitude I have for my health increased greatly when I realized how much was getting accomplished :-)

With the largest majority of the walls stripped to studs, the guys working can get to the additional areas that need repair and the electrician can continue to rewire the house.

On Monday, I was blessed to meet some kind-hearted people at my son's school. On Wednesday, I found a cute little bathroom vanities at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore in Maryville. For under $70 we have vanities, Praise God!

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When I left that location, I stopped by another location on the chance there may be affordable kitchen cabinets. I had never realized how expensive kitchen cabinets were until I attempted to locate some that would fit our tiny budget. God blessed us again though :-)

At the other location, I found a set in decent shape for a more than reasonable price. I walked out of there a happily blessed owner of cabinets for less than $340 (tax included)!! Overcome with thanks and praise to God, I happily drove to pick the kids up :-)



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After acquiring my oldest son, I drove to pick up my youngest. He had an envelope for me. When I opened it, my oldest son began to cry & I teared up also...there was a gift card from a local grocery store inside the envelope with $100 loaded onto it!! Yet again I was praising God for loving us so sweetly. My hope increases!

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Peaks and Valleys - part 1

This article was originally published on Feb 10, 2012 on the old blog



                        Peaks and Valleys

Faith is defined in the bible as: The substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.
Faith has always been the cornerstone of my existence. I trust in God for all things. But, even the most devoted Christian will experience Peaks and Valleys in their lives. These trials (Valleys) can affect one's belief, character, or convictions over time if allowed. Every Valley (or low place) we go through in life will make us stronger when we make it through and are back on the mountain again (doing well in life).  When life is going well and we think that everything is great, that's when we are content to be on that Mountain. We are satisfied, happy, and sometimes take for granite the little things.

2012 has only 6 weeks under its wing and we have had a lot of Peak and Valley Adventures in our lives already for the year. We left 2011 with a home only 1 week into repairs. (For a refresher, you can read the before mentioned house repairs here.) To recap our current situation, the house was basically sliding off of its foundation near the back side. Due to the rain, flooding, moisture that didn't have time to dry before the next rain, and a newly discovered critter...the floor cracked under Nicky and My feet a few days before Thanksgiving 2011, literally! I didn't know the extent of the damages at that time, so I called in several companies to check the damage and see what it would take to block the floor up where it had dropped. 5 companies (which shall remain nameless to protect their cowardice) evaluated the house, were speechless, rubbed their heads, turned and ran away without a second thought. I wasn't sure what had them so worried and they didn't tell me.

One person with a company evaluated the house before Christmas and told me that a house is like a person. Houses get sick and they need help to get better. People go to a doctor for medicine to feel better. A house needs a carpenter and repairs. Just as a doctor would not place a band-aid over cancer to get rid of it, my house would need extensive work and not just blocked up to secure the floor. He told me about the back of the house sliding off the foundation, showed me the moisture damages to the floor joints, and told me that some of the damages reflected termite and carpenter ants may be living in the wood. Needless to say, I was in a state of shock. I knew the floor had dropped several inches and could hear the floor joints cracking and giving way, but this was much more than I had ever imagined.
I immediately had a million and one thoughts racing through my mind:
Is this guy serious? He looks serious, yet confident.
Where did this come from? How does a house all of a sudden just...fall apart?
Should I have known this was coming? Why didn't I see it?
What in the world is a carpenter ant?!!? Termites I can understand. I've heard of those. I can be mad at my neighbors for sending them my way, but where did the carpenter ants come from?
Money! $$Oh no$$ What will I do for money? I have a little to work with, but I just lost my job. This sounds really expensive!
I asked him how long he thought the repairs would take. He said a week, maybe. They would be ripping the laundry room floor up and rebuilding it.  The time frame would depend on the extent of the damages. I felt some better knowing that it was a short project and hoped that short meant inexpensive as well. I was also happy that they would not start work until after Christmas. Wow, that certainly was the optimist in me shinning through. I prayed and was grateful to the Lord that the major damages would be fixed in a short amount of time and asked God to help us with the finances. Many of my friends and family said, "tear that money pit down and get out of there!" I wouldn't budge though. :-)

Fast forward a week, Christmas passed and the rain came. Each rainy day sends a babbling brook flowing through the crawl space in the house. Half of the laundry room floor had been ripped out, but no building had occurred yet. They had  managed to get under the house and support the existing structure on the back and ....discover more damage! The extra damages were larger than what was originally thought. Many of my friends and family said, "tear that money pit down and get out of there!" I wouldn't budge, but was tempted a little :-)

Skipping forward another week, New Years came and went. The guys ripped the hallway floor out also. They found rot after rot, multiple different types of mold, and more bug damage. The man in charge was ripping out everything damaged and didn't want to leave us with supported rot. He wanted to rebuild with new, pressure treated wood and began to search out someone to check the bug damages so those could be prevented in the future as well. It all sounded thorough and great, but I began to worry about the cost as the floor kept disappearing and I had to continue to move more of our possessions into other rooms so they could expand their working area. We were not living at home any longer either. Once they ripped so much of the floor out and that mold was exposed, I got the boys out of there.  They discovered that the main load bearing wall support was rotted and had to be replaced also. Time frames for completion increased by 2 weeks and I knew that when we went to Lowes to buy the material, I would be 2/3 out of $ for this project. My faith fell straight into what I assumed was a bottomless pit of a valley. I cried out to the lord,
What?!!?, why me? Why us? Haven't we been through enough? Where are you now? Did you leave us? Have you turned your back? Is this it? Will we be homeless? This is all we have. Why? Will you provide the $? How will they finish this project? It couldn't get worse :-(
As soon as I said all of that, I was convicted. I could hear my mom say, "Oh ye of little faith! You better not say it couldn't get any worse, or step back and watch it get worse!!", while shaking her finger at me. I could hear my dad say, "Life's not fair Chrissy. It rains on the just and the unjust." I could hear myself in the past telling people to have faith because God is way bigger than anything that could come up against them. Yet, I couldn't yank myself out of this gloomy feeling that I had and muster up faith. Talk about a valley? Even if I had not experienced the house falling apart, having such a crisis of faith would be enough to be a huge valley in life by itself. AND  ON TOP OF THAT...hearing voices, hahahaha...I thought I was going nuts! I felt bad for questioning God or his will or ways, yet I still did it. I felt bad for allowing my human nature take control over my emotions, but I still allowed it. I cried...a LOT. Many of my friends and family said, "tear that money pit down and get out of there!" I just cried and thought about budging :-(

Jumping on about another week, the time frame for completion is still 2 more weeks. A pump was purchased for the crawl space to remove the ever-present storm water run off from the  neighborhood under my house. The electrical wiring was laying in water each time it rained and the guys working there were doing us a favor by risking their lives. They were exposing themselves to the elements that were unsafe daily and I just hung around, moping. We purchased the building materials to rebuild a couple of walls, the floor joints, and sub floor that had been removed. As expected, my funds were running thin by now. The demolition had moved from the original laundry room work to the hallway, to one wall, then to the next wall, and they were discussing the bathroom now.

In a previous week, one of my step daughters came to the house and removed memory type possessions and things that could be cleaned and recovered so we didn't loose everything. I would go to the house to help in any way I could often, until I became sick at the end of this week. After all the years of living there, I had been sick a lot and my immune system was suppressed. I began to realize how selfish I was being and at this point the Lord was really convicting my heart and faith. He sent several people across my path. People who didn't have homes at all, and people who were in far more desperate situations than we were. We were staying with a friend, so I knew we at least had a roof over our heads. I began to pray often in this week. I wrote this after I felt some comfort. Many of my friends and family said, "tear that money pit down and get out of there!" I wouldn't budge though. My faith was being renewed daily :-)

Entering the third week of January, the guys were beginning to build. I was still feeling terrible and wasn't able to help them. I went to the doctor and he gave me some antibiotics to heal. He told me to rest. How was that possible? Anyway, the building began this week. By the end of the week, my faith had increased as I received news that they were working with a bug man (insect control dude) and I had contacted my uncle to see if he could help with the plumbing. He was devastated at the site of the house.  Many family said, "tear that money pit down and get out of there!" I got mad and wouldn't budge! I'm standing on my renewed faith if it kills me!!  :-)

We are almost current with this adventure now :-)

Scoot along another week, I was introduced to an electrician last week. He was just as overwhelmed as ever other person seeing the house at this point. I prayed that God would be merciful and that he would soften this guy's heart for us and help. Then I asked for the finances to afford to pay him and buy the materials :-) After much conversation with the lead guy on the project, the Journeyman Electrician agreed to help. His price was beyond reasonable (Praise God) and I was overcome with emotion. Once more, I was crying. The guys working on the house thought I was sad, but I was just full of emotion, love, mercy, God's compassion, Grace, and thankfulness. They moved on through the house tearing out rot. They tore out the walls of the Kitchen and bathroom. I began tearing out walls in the living room later in the week to help them.

Also at the end of the week, I met the bug man. He evaluated the house, assessed the damaged, made the professional determination that I did in fact have termites. Then, he said the carpenter ants came in to eat the termites, but they caused far more damage because they bore through the wood and make it weak faster than the termites eat the wood to cause damage. So...I was happy!! 

Once more I prayed that god would soften the heart of the bug man so that we could afford the wood treatment and save the house. He left with several ideas and said he'd contact the leader of the project soon. He wanted to wait until all the old wood was removed from the house before treating the new wood. I was over joyed, happy, stood in awe of god's grace again and asked forgiveness for allowing  my faith to falter! My friends and family said, "tear that money pit down and get out of there!" No way I would budge now! Nah, nuh-uh, nope, noway Jose, forget that!  :-) I'm not giving up on God, especially after the lessons I have learned the hard way in life. My friends and family remind me of Jobs friends in the bible. His friends commiserated with him in his sorrows and in the end said, why don't you just curse God and die dude? My family and friends were similar in that aspect because they wanted me to give up on walk away, tear the house down, and find another home. I smiled :-)

This week, the living room walls were stripped to studs, kitchen was bare to studs, wires were hanging loosely everywhere, and there was not one piece of plumbing anywhere in the house. It all had been removed. The place was smelling better (except when the cat went under the house to poop in the largest litter box ever- the crawl space.) I worked on the house some alone. I enlisted the help of one of my brothers to help me haul away several loads of demolition material. I tore out more walls in the bedrooms and bumped and bruised myself up really good! ha-ha :-) All in a day's work :-) My faith is still unmoving. God sent a little more money to help with the project (praise you Lord!) Also, a friend contacted me out of the blue and provided some finances that I had no idea would be coming. I thanked her over and over and thanked God.  My friends and family were not as quick to say, "tear that money pit down and get out of there!" Some of them finally saw that God was working and that the situation is not as dreary as they thought it was. God is not the author of confussion...and my faith won't budge  :-) It may be Friday, but the week isn't over yet. I have hope in things I can not see that even more will be accomplished in this week :-) and that god is my one and only provider of all things!

I'm still smiling :-) Let's ROCK this Adventure!

My Amazing Stranger

This article was originally published on January 28, 2012 on the old blog


Occasionally through life, we are granted the gift of meeting extraordinary people.
Smokey's Baseball Game 2010
Smokey's Baseball Game 2010
As we sail through life, it's easy to forget some of those people who made an impression on our lives in a small way. Like an amazing stranger that you never see again. Life gets busy, booked up, full of working hours, too many things on our "to-do" lists, people go home (busy) each evening and watch TV for several hours...until they retire for the night. We simply just do not have the time to think about someone we met briefly many years ago that made a tiny impression on our day. I am guilty of this as well as others are. So, this morning I have thanked God for several chance encounters I've had with people over the years. (I've been working on my memory since July of last year and recovering those lost memories has been progressing as I sift through pictures. I take pictures so often, there are many to remind me about specific days. Especially if there was an emotion attached to a photograph...and, I'm a chick...so their's ALWAYS an emotion.) 
Right above the players
In the "Fan" section directly above the players.
I remember the first baseball game we attended. I didn't know the real rules of the game, so I kept asking a friend (who sat 4 seats away with 2 empty seats in-between us) why different things were happening. He was frustrated, frowned a lot, and finally said, "Look, I came here to WATCH a game. Okay"? I smirked and thought to myself, "Fine, I'll ask someone else :-P ".   I looked around, observed most of the women were melting in multiple layers of make up, stumbling up and down the stadium steps in high heels, and only talking to other women. The men that sat near or next to them were holding a beer, hot dog, or pop and staring straight ahead at the game. The men were focused and the ladies were socializing in the sweltering heat. The men occasionally gave a head nod or fake smile to the women. This seemed to make those women very happy (or at least they smiled big and chuckled loudly).

So, I turned to my oldest son & told him I'd be back in a few minutes, stay put. He nodded. You see, both of my boys had asked me questions about the game, trying to learn it as well & I couldn't answer their questions!  :-(  My dad never really watched sports or played any, so my brother wasn't into any sports either. My mom... Are you kidding?  I had to learn them on my own. I squeezed out of the row of seats and went up the steps to the vending areas. I walked around for a few minutes, watching people interact with each other. Most of the men were in their own world's. As they walked, went in & out-of-doors, ordered food, or were going up & down the steps... their minds were on the game - I mean like total game zombies.

That's not a bad thing either, but I needed to find someone who was into the game enough that they could answer some simple questions, yet, I wouldn't be dangerously snapping them out of another reality into mine so sudden it resulted in brain damage or a scream at me!  :-)   From observation, I could already tell the other women had already scarred the men's mindset: "Will she ever shut up? I just wanna watch this game. Why does she come with me? I'm not flirting with any one. Geez!!"

I found one!! A very slender older man wearing a green shirt was standing in the 2ft X 3ft smoking section. He was staring at the field, but there was nothing going on down there. The game had like, paused. I lit a cigarette and stirred up the courage to say, "Hi, would you mind if I asked you some really dumb questions before the game gets started back?" He looked at me oddly and answered, "I guess."  I said, "Great! Thank you. Can you keep up with me if I go really fast- so you can watch the game?" He looked at his shoes, took a deep breath & said "Sure."

So, off I went:
Me: "Why is that guy on the mound throwing the balls away from the guy with the bat? Doesn't he want the guy to hit the ball?"
My Amazing Stranger: "Strikeout. Pitcher wants to only barely stay within boundries...wants batter to swing & miss."
Me: "Oh... Why Are the guys waaay out in the field running so far & hard to catch balls that going to land near their own players closer up the field? Why doesn't the other player just get or catch it?"
My Amazing Stranger: "guard the base. don't leave it" ...taps finger on chin... "Or lazy player and over compensating player."
Me: "hmm, okay...why so many intermissions?
My Amazing Stranger: "Drink Beer, gotta pee"
Me: "Thank you! Am I bothering you?"
My Amazing Stranger: "No"
Me: 'Why are there so many people over on that bank past the outfield?"
My Amazing Stranger: "It's free. You can't see the game."
Me: "What's an inning?"
My Amazing Stranger: "the # of times a team is in the field/at bat"
Me: "How many are there?"
My Amazing Stranger: "9"
Me: "Tired of the questions yet?"
My Amazing Stranger: "No, but the game will start soon."
Me: "Okay, Who are the good guys?"
My Amazing Stranger: a got a chuckle out of him.."There are no good or bad guys. The Smokies are in white shirts and pants."
Me: "hm, yeah that's what I meant to say."
***Queue the Awkward silence***
Me: "Will you be back to smoke soon?"
My Amazing Stranger: "In 2 more Innings."
Me: "Could I come ask you more questions as my kids ask me?"
My Amazing Stranger: "Yes"

And with that, he put out his cigarette and went away. We met two more times and I asked probably 30 more questions about the game, players, and things they did on the field. Each time he didn't seem aggravated or bothered by my questions. I think that he understood that I really wanted to learn the game we were watching and that the questions he answered, I told my boys when we parted.  That was when I added the Reds to my bucket list. My Amazing Stranger was from Cincinnati  :-)

Mark that off the List

Mark That off the List - Bucket list items completed


I decided to move our completed items off the Original Bucket list. These items were mostly completed in 2010, 2011, & 2012. We had some very productive and enjoyable years. Even among the chaos that life threw at us, we had a ton of fun!! Some of our adventures included my step daughter(s), grandbabies, the boys, friends of mine, and total strangers that we pulled into our moments as they occurred :-) 

1. See a beach on the east coast of the US. ---Complete
2. Walk on sand barefoot ---Complete
4. See a sun set at a beach on the east coast ---Complete
5. Take the boys to the Pinnacle overlook in TN,VA,KY. ---Complete
8. Be a tourist in our own home town ---Complete
9. Eat authentic German food ---Complete
10. Eat Sushi ---Complete
13. Ride on a train---Complete
18. Eat sushi again...incase I didn't like it the first time! ---Complete
19. Touch the clouds with my boys. (Did it on Clinch mountain) ---Complete
20. Stay in a hotel ---Complete
22. Go to Virginia. ---(Complete) Visit the ARE Museum.
23. Pet a rabbit for an hour ---Complete
24. Lay in the middle of the road, stare at the stars during Autumn, with my boys. ---Complete
25. Take the boys to Gatlinburg, TN around Christmas time. --- Complete
26. See Cades Cove - complete
28. Rent a cabin in the mountains for a weekend. - Complete
29. Go Hiking --- Complete
31. Teach the boys to properly fish. (So I don't spend all day untangling lines, baiting their hooks, etc) - Complete
32. Attend a live concert ---Complete
36. See a live dog race ---Complete
37. Learn to play poker - Complete
38. Learn plumbing ---Complete
43. Travel to Ohio ---Complete
47. Go to a casino & gamble a tad. ---Complete
48. Play a slot machine! ---Complete
50. Eat real Italian food ---Complete
51. Go to Disney World ---Complete
53. This one is private, but has been accomplished. - Complete
55. Tour a Naval base. ---Complete
56. Touch a tank!!! ---Complete
57. Eat authentic Korean food ---Complete
61. Take the boys to see the Iron Furnace and Warriors path in Cumberland Gap, TN ---Complete
67. See the ocean from the gulf coast. ---Complete
73. Understand Buddhism. -- Complete (I have a good understanding of it although I do not practice this faith. I am Christian. I added this goal to my list after a very good friend dying of cancer converted to this faith. I spent some time with him as he educated me on his new faith and an "understanding" is all I have.)
74. Swim in the ocean. – Assateague Island Beach/Chincoteague Island /Ocean City Beach - Complete
75. Touch an American fighter jet.--- Complete
76. Clear the clutter out of my life once a year. 2009 complete, 2010 complete, 2011 complete, 2012 complete
81. Drive underwater while having lunch in a car ---Complete
83. Have a picnic on a grassy green medium in the middle of 2 roads.---Complete
87. Ride in an airplane both small and large. FLY!! ---Complete
88. Travel to & spend the night on an island. - Complete
89. See Norris Dam ---Complete
90. See a live horse race ---Complete
91. Ride on a monorail ---Complete
94. Go to the Rossini festival in the Spring ---Complete
95. Dance in public ---Complete
96. See a waterfall.---Complete
100. Be a prissy, fake, uptight, too good for anyone girl - wearing makeup, dress, high heels, and hair all done up for one day. THIS ONE MAY NEVER HAPPEN!! ---Complete! I did it :-)
102. Move away from the swamp --- complete (Moved away for 1 year, then moved back home to the swamp again.)
104. Kiss in the rain -- complete
106. Visit a metropolis --- Complete
117. See a lighthouse up close, touch it, climb it - Complete
118. Wear a bathing suit in public - Complete!!

Exploring Indy - Part 1

This post was originally published on January 4, 2012 on the old blog

Indiana!
Funky Bridge
Funky Bridge
Exploring Indianapolis Indiana was another Adventure :-) It was also #106 on my bucket list: Visit a metropolis.

I was blessed again to have a small opportunity to travel away from home the day after Christmas instead of shopping. My friend asked me if I would like to take a small 2 day trip to Indiana. I jumped on the opportunity.

I had never been to a big city and Indianapolis is gigantic compared to Knoxville, TN. At home, we have mountains and valleys, but not a big city. I used to think it was large because...well, it was all that I knew. Downtown Knoxville is actually rather small in my mind now. I used to think that the hour drive I made to work each morning equated to living in a large county...until I was in one! Knoxville, TN has its draw and special characteristics, so don't take me wrong. I still very much love the Knoxville Valley from whence I came :-) I just love being able to explore other areas, cultures, ways of life, and thought processes of people from other areas.

I was told recently that I can be stubborn and need to be more open-minded. I kept my mind wide open on this trip...and my eyes :-)

:-) I took the boys to stay with one of their sisters for this first time trip. I wasn't sure what city life may be like and thought I should see it first to decide if they'd be shell-shocked in it or not. So, off my friend and I went! We traveled through Kentucky to areas I had never seen before.
I saw Louisville, KY from the Interstate and the Ohio River :-) Ohio River

When we drove by Louisville, KY I thought to myself, "Wow, this is Awesome." When we got to Indiana, my Awesome turned into Fantastic enthusiasm! Here's what I saw along the way that caught my eye: KY MCDonald's under construction
1st pit stop at a McDonald's for a Hazelnut Latte.
Louisville:
Louisville as seen from the interstate
Entering Indiana:
The Bridge to Indie
The Bridge to Indy!!
Hello Indianapolis:
Coming up to the city

Home of the Hoosiers
Downtown Indy
Downtown Indy
Downtown Indy
The buildings are absolutely beautiful



Stay tuned for part 2....