This article was originally published on Feb 10, 2012 on the
old blog
Peaks and Valleys
Faith is defined in the bible as: The substance of things
hoped for and the evidence of things
not seen.
Faith
has always been the cornerstone of my existence. I trust in God for all
things. But, even the most devoted Christian will experience Peaks and
Valleys in their lives. These trials (Valleys) can affect one's belief,
character, or convictions over time if allowed. Every Valley (or low
place) we go through in life will make us stronger when we make it
through and are back on the mountain again (doing well in life). When
life is going well and we think that everything is
great, that's when we are content to be on that Mountain. We are satisfied, happy, and sometimes take for granite the little things.
2012
has only 6 weeks under its wing and we have had a lot of Peak and
Valley Adventures in our lives already for the year. We left 2011 with a
home only 1 week into repairs. (For a refresher, you can read
the before mentioned house repairs
here.)
To recap our current situation, the house was basically sliding off of
its foundation near the back side. Due to the rain, flooding, moisture
that didn't have time to dry before the next rain, and a newly
discovered critter...the floor cracked under Nicky and My feet a
few days before Thanksgiving 2011, literally! I didn't know the extent
of the damages at that time, so I called in several companies to
check the damage and see what it would take to block the floor up where
it had dropped. 5 companies (which shall remain nameless to protect
their cowardice) evaluated the house, were speechless, rubbed their
heads, turned and ran away without a second thought. I wasn't sure what
had them so worried and they didn't tell me.
One person with a
company evaluated the house before Christmas and told me that a house is
like a person. Houses get sick and they need help to get better. People
go to a doctor for medicine to feel better. A house needs a carpenter
and repairs. Just as a doctor would not place a band-aid over cancer to
get rid of it, my house would need extensive work and not just blocked
up to secure the floor. He told me about the back of the house sliding
off the foundation, showed me the moisture damages to the floor joints,
and told me that some of the damages reflected termite and carpenter
ants may be living in the wood. Needless to say, I was in a state of
shock. I knew the floor had dropped several inches and could hear the
floor joints cracking and giving way, but this was much more than I had
ever imagined.
I immediately had a million and one thoughts racing through my mind:
Is this guy serious? He looks serious, yet confident.
Where did this come from? How does a house all of a sudden just...fall apart?
Should I have known this was coming? Why didn't I see it?
What
in the world is a carpenter ant?!!? Termites I can understand. I've
heard of those. I can be mad at my neighbors for sending them my way,
but where did the carpenter ants come from?
Money! $$Oh no$$ What will I do for money? I have a little to work with, but I just lost my job. This sounds really expensive!
I
asked him how long he thought the repairs would take. He said a week,
maybe. They would be ripping the laundry room floor up and rebuilding
it. The time frame would depend on the extent of the damages. I felt
some better knowing that it was a short project and hoped that short
meant inexpensive as well. I was also happy that they would not start
work until after Christmas. Wow, that certainly was the optimist in me
shinning through. I prayed and was grateful to the Lord that the major
damages would be fixed in a short amount of time and asked God to help
us with the finances. Many of my friends and family said, "tear that
money pit down and get out of there!" I wouldn't budge though. :-)
Fast
forward a week, Christmas passed and the rain came. Each rainy
day sends a babbling brook flowing through the crawl space in the
house. Half of the laundry room floor had been ripped out, but no
building had occurred yet. They had managed to get under the house
and support the existing structure on the back and ....discover more
damage! The extra damages were larger than what was originally thought.
Many of my friends and family said, "tear that money pit down and get
out of there!" I wouldn't budge, but was tempted a little :-)
Skipping
forward another week, New Years came and went. The guys ripped the
hallway floor out also. They found rot after rot, multiple different
types of mold, and more bug damage. The man in charge was ripping out
everything damaged and didn't want to leave us with supported rot. He
wanted to rebuild with new, pressure treated wood and began to search
out someone to check the bug damages so those could be prevented in the
future as well. It all sounded thorough and great, but I began to worry
about the cost as the floor kept disappearing and I had to continue to
move more of our possessions into other rooms so they could expand their
working area. We were not living at home any longer either. Once they
ripped so much of the floor out and that mold was exposed, I got the
boys out of there. They discovered that the main load bearing wall
support was rotted and had to be replaced also. Time frames for
completion increased by 2 weeks and I knew that when we went to Lowes to
buy the material, I would be 2/3 out of $ for this project. My faith
fell straight into what I assumed was a bottomless pit of a valley. I
cried out to the lord,
What?!!?, why me? Why us?
Haven't we been through enough? Where are you now? Did you leave us?
Have you turned your back? Is this it? Will we be homeless? This is all
we have. Why? Will you provide the $? How will they finish this project?
It couldn't get worse :-(
As soon as I said all of that, I was convicted. I could hear my mom say,
"Oh ye of little faith! You better not say it couldn't get any worse, or step back and watch it get worse!!", while shaking her finger at me. I could hear my dad say,
"Life's not fair Chrissy. It rains on the just and the unjust." I
could hear myself in the past telling people to have faith because God
is way bigger than anything that could come up against them. Yet, I
couldn't yank myself out of this gloomy feeling that I had and muster up
faith. Talk about a valley? Even if I had not experienced the house
falling apart, having such a crisis of faith would be enough to be a
huge valley in life by itself. AND ON TOP OF THAT...hearing voices,
hahahaha...I thought I was going nuts! I felt bad for questioning God or
his will or ways, yet I still did it. I felt bad for allowing my human
nature take control over my emotions, but I still allowed it. I
cried...a LOT. Many of my friends and family said, "tear that money pit
down and get out of there!" I just cried and thought about budging :-(
Jumping
on about another week, the time frame for completion is still 2 more
weeks. A pump was purchased for the crawl space to remove the
ever-present storm water run off from the neighborhood under my house.
The electrical wiring was laying in water each time it rained and the
guys working there were doing us a favor by risking their lives. They
were exposing themselves to the elements that were unsafe daily and I
just hung around, moping. We purchased the building materials to rebuild
a couple of walls, the floor joints, and sub floor that had been
removed. As expected, my funds were running thin by now. The demolition
had moved from the original laundry room work to the hallway, to one
wall, then to the next wall, and they were discussing the bathroom now.
In a previous week, one of my step daughters came to the house and
removed memory type possessions and things that could be cleaned and
recovered so we didn't loose everything. I would go to the house to help
in any way I could often, until I became sick at the end of this week.
After all the years of living there, I had been sick a lot and my immune
system was suppressed. I began to realize how selfish I was being and
at this point the Lord was really convicting my heart and faith. He sent
several people across my path. People who didn't have homes at all, and
people who were in far more desperate situations than we were. We were
staying with a friend, so I knew we at least had a roof over our heads. I
began to pray often in this week. I wrote
this after
I felt some comfort. Many of my friends and family said, "tear that
money pit down and get out of there!" I wouldn't budge though. My faith
was being renewed daily :-)
Entering the third week of
January, the guys were beginning to build. I was still feeling terrible
and wasn't able to help them. I went to the doctor and he gave me some
antibiotics to heal. He told me to rest. How was that possible? Anyway,
the building began this week. By the end of the week, my faith had
increased as I received news that they were working with a bug man
(insect control dude) and I had contacted my uncle to see if he could
help with the plumbing. He was devastated at the site of the house.
Many family said, "tear that money pit down and get out of there!" I
got mad and wouldn't budge! I'm standing on my renewed faith if it kills
me!! :-)
We are almost current with this adventure now :-)
Scoot
along another week, I was introduced to an electrician last week. He
was just as overwhelmed as ever other person seeing the house at this
point. I prayed that God would be merciful and that he would soften this
guy's heart for us and help. Then I asked for the finances to afford to
pay him and buy the materials :-) After much conversation with the lead
guy on the project, the Journeyman Electrician agreed to help. His
price was beyond reasonable (Praise God) and I was overcome with
emotion. Once more, I was crying. The guys working on the house thought I
was sad, but I was just full of emotion, love, mercy, God's compassion,
Grace, and thankfulness. They moved on through the house tearing out
rot. They tore out the walls of the Kitchen and bathroom. I began
tearing out walls in the living room later in the week to help them.
Also at the end of the week, I met the bug man. He evaluated the house,
assessed the damaged, made the professional determination that I did in
fact have termites. Then, he said the carpenter ants came in to eat the
termites, but they caused far more damage because they bore through the
wood and make it weak faster than the termites eat the wood to cause
damage. So...I was happy!!
Once more I prayed that god would soften the
heart of the bug man so that we could afford the wood treatment and
save the house. He left with several ideas and said he'd contact the
leader of the project soon. He wanted to wait until all the old wood was
removed from the house before treating the new wood. I was over joyed,
happy, stood in awe of god's grace again and asked forgiveness
for allowing my faith to falter! My friends and family said, "tear that
money pit down and get out of there!" No way I would budge now! Nah,
nuh-uh, nope, noway Jose, forget that! :-) I'm not giving up on God,
especially after the lessons I have learned the hard way in life. My
friends and family remind me of Jobs friends in the bible. His friends
commiserated with him in his sorrows and in the end said, why don't you
just curse God and die dude? My family and friends were similar in that
aspect because they wanted me to give up on walk away, tear the house
down, and find another home. I smiled :-)
This week, the living
room walls were stripped to studs, kitchen was bare to studs, wires were
hanging loosely everywhere, and there was not one piece of plumbing
anywhere in the house. It all had been removed. The place was smelling
better (except when the cat went under the house to poop in the largest
litter box ever- the crawl space.) I worked on the house some alone.
I enlisted the help of one of my brothers to help me haul away several
loads of demolition material. I tore out more walls in the bedrooms and
bumped and bruised myself up really good! ha-ha :-) All in a day's work
:-) My faith is still unmoving. God sent a little more money to help
with the project (praise you Lord!) Also, a friend contacted me out of
the blue and provided some finances that I had no idea would be coming. I
thanked her over and over and thanked God. My friends and family were
not as quick to say, "tear that money pit down and get out of
there!" Some of them finally saw that God was working and that the
situation is not as dreary as they thought it was. God is not the author
of confussion...and my faith won't budge :-) It may be Friday, but the
week isn't over yet. I have hope in things I can not see that even more
will be accomplished in this week :-) and that god is my one and only
provider of all things!
I'm still smiling :-) Let's ROCK this Adventure!
Each flashback brings sadness, worry, pain, tears, anxiety & anger.
& ask the Lord to protect the children’s minds from such torment
too. Theirs is a different scenario, but traumatic as well. They watched
me attempt to save his life in front of them. They saw their daddy’s
blood on my face as I blew into is chest in vain.
