Silence

This article was originally published on May 9, 2012 on the old blog


Without a word, you spoke to me.

Without a gesture, I understood.


You tried so hard, yet I was blind.


Every breath carries an explanation.


Do you hear?                     Silence caresses your ears and delivers a gift.


Peace, Love, and Grace.

What do you want for Christmas?

You gave it to me.

What do you want for Valentine’s day?

I have enough already.

What do you want for your birthday?

I already have it.

What would you like for Mother’s day?

I’ve had it all along. You’re love will do just fine

Country Girl in the City

Country Girl in the City
This article was originally published on April 15, 2012 on the old blog


Okay, I'll admit it, I'm a country girl born & bred. Where I live in east Tennessee, our city life isn't exactly "big city", but there are so many differences in county (country) life & city life. Although, I'd listed #102 on my bucket list, I never really thought I'd accomplish it. Yet, here I found myself living away from the swamp.                                        #102 was: move away from the swamp.

Living in the county, I wouldn't be woken up after midnight to the sound of sirens nightly. Actually, I very rarely ever heard sirens in the suburbs. Tonight though, I am awake listening to the sounds of sirens. A neighboring home or apartment has had an emergency again after midnight...again. I pray for the people, hoping all will be well...again.

This episode does make me draw a few comparisons. In the city, we are no more than 5 minutes from many national retail stores, businesses, local rescue services, and big name eateries. In the county, we have these things as well, but they are mostly mom & pop owned & operated eateries or fast food, and the emergency services are located in the city about 20-30 minutes away. So, everyone knows if you need serious help quick, Joe Bob can drive like Earnhardt...call him instead! Why else do you think NASCAR is so popular in the south? To get to the hospitals we drive 100 MPH around the base of a mountain, making only left hand turns ;-)


There are several luxuries to city life though. Instead of loading the car with trash once a week and driving it off to the local dump, we get to carry our trash to the curb! How cool is that?? In the county, if we put our trash outside on the curb, 20 wild dogs would rip into the bags, no one would pick it up, & the neighbors would call the beautification board on us!

In the city the parks are small, quaint, clean and hidden. In the county, the parks are littered with trash, large, and right off a main
road.
In the county, everyone has a septic tank & neighbors pull up a chair to watch someone dig up their yard to have it pumped when the toilet stops flushing. It's neighborhood entertainment & occasionally, someone pitches in a helping hand to dig. In the city, toilets flush with no issue!! Everyone has sewer. It's a fascinating thing that uses gravity and suction to grab ones mounds of toilet paper and shoot it into the underground abyss of the unknown!

Then there are garbage disposals. In the city, there's no dog in the back yard to eat dinner scraps. (Dogs are like people, they live inside.) After dinner, the scraps are raked from plates into the sink. A Langolier type monster that lives in the drain pipe chews all the left over stuff and burps when it's done! If we had garbage disposals in the country, could you imagine all the starving K9s?
 
Another difference is the yard. A yard in the country can take anywhere between an hour & all day to mow. Country yards are much larger & hilly. One can easily entertain the neighborhood by attempting to push mow the side of a mountain sideways or by dangling vicariously from a riding mower while holding on for dear life shouting "I Will Win!". In the city, the yards are so small & level they can be easily trimmed by using an electrical appliance in as little as 5-25 minutes! Where's the entertainment in that?

There are many more differences, but I'll have to tell y'all bout 'em later. The sirens have stopped now & I may be able to go back to sleep.

Night :-)

Posted from WordPress for Android

Another Evil of PTSD

Another Evil of PTSD
This article was originally published April 3, 2012 on the old blog

Another evil of PTSD is depression. It's not always present and can be controlled for some by medication.
I hate depression. It rips life from a person and steals tears from its miss-perceived victims. Depression can take a beautiful day and make it cloudy, gloomy, and undesirable. It has much company when it takes root in one's soul; for it invites anger, sadness, and self loathing with it. These rascally fiends take over and throw a misery party showcasing every wrong move, thought, word spoken, or deed done in the past. Their heart wrenching film plays over and over until the unassuming audience has become completely trapped by its clutches.
Depression is a beastly evil of PTSD.

Depression is one of the most commonly occurring disorders in PTSD. In fact, it has been found that among people who have or have had a diagnosis of PTSD, approximately 48% also had current or past depression. People who have had PTSD at some point in their life are almost 7 times as likely as people without PTSD to also have depression. Another study found that 44.5% of people with PTSD one month after experiencing a traumatic event also had a diagnosis of depression.

For more information on how PTSD and depression could be linked click here.
For another view on depression click here.Click Me, Click Me!
So, the question is, how does someone with depression associated with PTSD cope? PRAYER! A lot of Prayer!!
On this roller coaster ride we call life, there are always rainbows after every storm. We have to choose to see the rainbow instead of the destruction that the storm left in its wake. It's also a lot easier to write about it than to put it into practice, by the way ;-)

I need a game plan. I need to figure out why I stop wanting to take part in life. The Lord and I are the only two that can work together on this giant feat and obtain any lasting success. Medication will only place a bandage over the wound that depression leaves. The longer I let it wound me, the deeper and larger that wound will be. I can't let that wound turn into a scar or I will have given up and become lost in the misery party that depression wants to host.

Here I go! Wish me luck!! :-)
 I'm ready to tackle the evil beastly depression monster brought along with the sinister PTSD!!

Yesterday's Adventure - Beware

(This article was originally published on March 2, 2012 on the old blog )


Yesterday,  I was reminded of an OSHA saying:

Is better to lose one minute in life… than to lose life in a minute.

I can be pretty naive at times I suppose. Part of that can be attributed to my belief that there is good in every person somewhere. But, where good is, evil is also present.

I found a couple of parks that I had never been to before and decided on a destination for the day. The park I chose was highly recommended by hikers on several websites. Mountain bikers gave high marks and praised the upkeep, cleanliness, and safety. Fishermen posted on wildlife sites about the beauty & bounty of fish at the park online as well. The park was listed on several family recreation recommendation sites also. I just had to go see this hidden local gem :-)

I have been all over my town, city, county and several others by myself exploring. I never gave the safety of this particular park a second thought, especially after so many high regards listed on public sites by so many people!

Following GPS, I located the park. I parked & noticed how many cars were present. There were many. I left my car, locked it & went to a beautiful fishing dock :-) The water was low, but it was lovely :-) The surrounding trees, shrubs, and spring flowers were beginning to emerge. Life around the dock was thriving. It was absolutely beautiful!


As I walked along the first & only part of a trail I got to see, I soon realized I was surrounded by 5 men. They were coming toward me from all angles. They spoke one at a time to perhaps make me nervous. Nervous people do stupid things. I heard several of them all at once in my mind though as I quickly evaluated my predicament.

Hey Baby.
Take some good pictures?
Whatcha got there?

One whistled a cat call.

Where are you going sweet thang?
Come here, we just want to talk.

One unbuttoned his pants. I had a knife clipped to my blue jeans (as I usually do) but it was dull :-(  (I can't find my good knife that has made so many hikes with me.) I hadn't planned on taking a long hike so I didn't bring my regular gear with me.

I quickly evaluated my surroundings:

• I was surrounded by 5 angles.
• Wooded area.
• No large rocks, branches, random wrought iron, wire on the ground, or strong vines to use for defense. There was nothing to use as an element of surprise.
• No one else around. I realized how stupid I had been.

I have 12 phone numbers listed on speed dial. After the 5th one, I reached a friend. I began the most random conversation I have ever had (and that's saying a lot for me).

OH Hey Sweetie!! You are? I just found the coolest park. Yeah, it's off XXX highway. Really? you're coming this way anyway? Great!! I can't wait to see you sweetie!! You're just 2-3 minutes away, really? Oh man, I would LOVE to show it to you! I love you!

Please bear in mind that my friend could not hear me well. Signal was not strong and he could only understand a few words that I was saying. Thank God he didn't hang up on me!!

Fishing? YES, there's a dock here and we can fish sometime. Oh, did I tell you that I heard back from the doctor? I HAVE CRABS. So, you'll be here in a few seconds? Great!!

While on the line with him, I had twisted off the trail, into the thicket and toward the lake. Two men didn't follow. One man behind me from another direction proclaimed,

She crazy! She going into that snake water. Forget that man.

With only two men left following me, I swiftly waded through the water with the phone plastered to my face. I'd rather take a snake bite than face what they may have done to me! I dared not to repeat myself and give away  the fact that my reception was not the best. I kept saying to my friend at different times in different ways,

Stay with me. Stay with me.

When I reached my escape trail, I glanced behind me. I had lost the other two men back on the other side of the lake. Their fear of the snakes was enough to deter them. I got in my car and sped out of there! I took a valuable lesson with me: Is better to lose one minute in life… than to lose life in a minute. 

Thank you OSHA :-)

Peaks and Valleys - part 2

This article was originally published on February 18, 2012 on the old blog


Week Eight of home repairs ends in many huge Thanks. The Lord has blessed us once more with progress and much needed hardware :)

Last week & this week I spent much time at the swamp tearing out more walls and dividing salvageable items from ruined. Being able to borrow my dad's truck to haul off demolition material & trashed possessions was a huge blessing. The gratitude I have for my health increased greatly when I realized how much was getting accomplished :-)

With the largest majority of the walls stripped to studs, the guys working can get to the additional areas that need repair and the electrician can continue to rewire the house.

On Monday, I was blessed to meet some kind-hearted people at my son's school. On Wednesday, I found a cute little bathroom vanities at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore in Maryville. For under $70 we have vanities, Praise God!


When I left that location, I stopped by another location on the chance there may be affordable kitchen cabinets. I had never realized how expensive kitchen cabinets were until I attempted to locate some that would fit our tiny budget. God blessed us again though :-)

At the other location, I found a set in decent shape for a more than reasonable price. I walked out of there a happily blessed owner of cabinets for less than $340 (tax included)!! Overcome with thanks and praise to God, I happily drove to pick the kids up :-)




After acquiring my oldest son, I drove to pick up my youngest. He had an envelope for me. When I opened it, my oldest son began to cry & I teared up also...there was a gift card from a local grocery store inside the envelope with $100 loaded onto it!! Yet again I was praising God for loving us so sweetly. My hope increases!

Posted from WordPress for Android